


Should I Be Happy Too?

by Spinchip (Thatkindghost)



Category: Lego Ninjago
Genre: Abandonment, Dr. Julien's A+ parenting, Gen, Memory Alteration, Neglect
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:01:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25203628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thatkindghost/pseuds/Spinchip
Summary: After rescuing Echo from the lighthouse prison, Zane has been off. Cole talks to him.
Relationships: Dr. Julien & Zane (Ninjago)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 76





	Should I Be Happy Too?

**Author's Note:**

> I have a lot of problems with how Dr. Julien refused to remove Zanes memory switch
> 
> Takes place after Skybound but before DotD

“There you are.” Cole climbs up on top of the roof carefully, rolling over onto the wooden slats on his belly, balancing on top of the Destiny’s Bounty cautiously. He could have used airjitzu, but he has a feeling Zane doesn’t want everyone on the ship figuring out where he was- the hunch to his shoulders reason enough to make him think he didn’t even want Cole to find him.

The tiles below them were domed, and one wrong move could send him sliding off the side, not that it would affect him much. Can’t kill a ghost twice, right? unless you had water- but Cole didn’t much feel like testing out his ethereal resistance to splattering on the pavement. Zane jolts a bit at his voice, sitting up a little straighter with a tired expression on his face, “Hello, Cole.” He holds his hand up in a still wave, before letting it drop back into his lap. He’s sitting criss-cross just below the mizzenmast, almost completely hidden unless you climb up on top of the roof to look.

Cole squashed down the swell of pride at guessing Zanes’ hiding spot correctly, trying to focus on the more pressing problem- Zane’s need to hide in the first place. The ice ninja’s voice was faded and soft too, sad and contemplative. Cole shuffles over to him while Zane watches with a little smile barely curling his lips, reaching out and taking his hand when he got close enough to draw him closer to the mast and even ground, “So,” He starts once he gets rightfully situated, “What are you doing up here?”

Zane sighs, smile dropping off his face and eye sliding closed as if that were the hardest question he’d ever been asked. Cole can see his eyelids flicker as the nindroid tries to put together the words to answer him, expression pinching.

“…Is it Echo?” Cole prompts softly, touching Zane’s shoulder.

“No.” Zane opens his eyes, leaning just out of reach (Cole respects that, letting his hand fall back,) “Echo is my little brother, he is not a problem. However…” there’s a long pause as Zane gathers his words, “He is making me… realize some things.” His face twists, as if he’s unsatisfied with his answer. Zane is meticulous with his words, each one chosen carefully, so to see him so mixed up with his phrasing makes Cole worry. Something is really bothering him.

There was no doubt that his weird mood started when Jay told them about Echo Zane, trapped away in the same lighthouse that had been a prison for Zanes late father. (Jay wouldn’t speak about how he knew, shaking his head mutely when they had tried to pry, Nya shooing them away.) It wasn’t that Zane was weird around Echo, no, they took to each other like a moths to a flame. Echo was smart, a fast learner, and with a little TLC he was no longer losing limbs or locking up all the time. Zane adored him easily, and loved to teach and train him, talking to him about everything and nothing at the same time. Yet in the spaces in between, when Echo is absent and his presence can no longer distract the Ice master, Zane is quiet and contemplative and…strangely sad.  
(And, Cole notes with surprise, angry. Zanes eyes flicker with a deep frustration that seems so foreign on his face.)

“Do you want to talk about it?” He’s good at being there, for other people. He can be there for Zane, even if it’s just to lend an ear.

“No.” Zane says honestly.

Well, if not an ear, then at least a steady presence. A rock.

“Well, do you mind if I stay? The view is amazing.”

Zane blinks, looks out across the forest and land stretched out beneath them, stars like twinkling fairy lights hung in the sky, “I hadn’t noticed.” he admits faintly, softening at the beauty.

As the silence stretches, Cole just tries to appreciate what he can. He may not be able to feel the cool breeze that flutters at Zane’s gi, or taste the crisp night air, but he can drink up the scenery. He wasn’t joking, earlier, it’s beautiful out tonight. They’re faced away from the mountains they’re anchored at, staring out across wide expanses of earth, the tree-top from the forest swaying and undulating like water, rippling out across the floor. Just beyond the edge of the trees are rice fields, catching stars in their reflections, the crescent moon just barely brushing the surface. Everything is always moving so fast that there’s barely any time to take it all in. This is what they’re fighting for.

“My father left Echo behind on purpose.” Zane says suddenly, never looking away from the place where the stars and land divide.

“What?”

“That is why i’m up here.” He cuts his eyes away from the sky, pining Cole with his calculating gaze, “I can not stop thinking about it. It bothers me.”

Cole stays quiet, unsure how to navigate this.

“I have run the logistics, I have gone through the scenarios, I have tried to understand what he was thinking- but there was no reason for it.” Zane clenches his fist in his lap, frowning unhappily, “I will never find the justification for abandoning him because there is none.”

He turns away, and when he speaks next his breath comes out in a cold puff, “And now I am beginning to realize that my father may not have been the man I thought he was.”

“What do you mean?” He doesn’t mean to pry, but this conversation is unexpected and he can’t stop the question from slipping out.

He doesn’t respond right away, and Cole is worried he pushed too far, opening his mouth to apologize when Zane starts to open up, “He erased my memory more than once.” Cole’s mouth snaps shut with a click, “I knew there were gaps, things I didn’t remember, missing time… I thought they had been damaged from the final memory wipe, but Echo has the same gaps, and why else would he install a memory switch? Why else would he refuse to remove it when I asked?”

Zanes’ face is carefully blank, meticulously controlled, “And what gives him the right to erase my memories at all? He said it was because he loved me, and I think that’s true for part of it, but… I can’t help but think it was also control. I spent years inside the tree lab, I was supervised outside only a handful of times, unallowed to leave. He kept Echo locked in the basement.” Zane’s head dropped, and he exhales harshly even though he doesn’t need to, “There were so many good times- all I was allowed to remember were the good times, and I loved him so much. I still do.” The words rankle, Zanes mouth presses into a thin line, complex emotions flashing too quickly across his eyes for Cole to decipher.

“…but..?”

“But he did a lot of bad things. Things that I don’t know if i can forgive him for.” Zane admits, eyes dulling, “Echo was not faulty or broken. He should not have been treated that way.”

Cole frowns and scoots closer, “You shouldn’t have been treated that way either,” He reminds him. “You don’t have to forgive him.”

The nindroids shoulder slump, and he leans over to rest his head on Cole’s shoulder as if a wave of exhaustion has rolled over him, “I know. I am sorry I’ve been weird, I am just… processing.”

“It’s okay, this is a pretty heavy thing to realize. Take your time.” Cole focuses on staying solid for him.

“Thank you, Cole.”

“Anytime.”

It gets a bit colder and the sky twinges a bit darker before Zane finally straightens up, looking a lot less upset than he had when Cole had first struggled his way up onto the roof. They watch the stars for a bit longer before they’re both ready to return to solid ground.


End file.
